Confessions of a Book Junkie

(the following is a series of posts on my Facebook Wall today.  Oh, the truth in humor! And how the truth hurts.)

The Heretic:  Today's finds at the used bookstore.

The Heretic:  What am I thinking, buying more books? I haven't yet read all of the last several book hauls, or listened to the podcasts and iTunesU courses. So many ideas, so little time.

The Heretic:  Especially with these black holes in my brain that eat my thoughts, memories, connections, and executive function. And apparently my impulse control.

My cogent and comedic friend:  Hello, my name is John and I'm a bookaholic.

1. We admitted we were powerless over books—that our lives, bookshelves, and end tables had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn our Kindles, iPods, and Nooks over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. We made a searching and fearless inventory of our homes looking for that one book we hid away for a rainy day.

5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to our blog readers the exact nature of the books we had already read.

6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these titles and sell them on eBay.

7. We humbly asked Him to remove our books, both hardcover and paperback.

8. We made a list of all persons we had ignored while reading, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would require putting a book down in the middle of a chapter.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we bought new books promptly read them.

11. We sought through bargain hunting and coupon clipping to improve our relationship with Barnes and Noble and Amazon as we understood them, asking only for knowledge of new releases and the time to read them all.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to bookaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.